Alice + Mama | A Coffee Date

We celebrated not one, not two, but three birthday parties last weekend! Whew!!!

After a whirlwind of balloon light-sabers, piñata-whacking, ballet hula hooping, and an onslaught of confectionery delights with friends new and old, Alice and I decided to take a break at our favorite watering hole - the Starbucks of 87th and Pacific. (Comfy leather chairs and a cozy ambiance make this our go-to family coffee destination.)

Our tiny dancer colored in her Hello Kitty activity book and ordered her very own blueberry muffin with a $2 bill from her envelope of Cookie Money that Papa Bear surprises her with every so often, and I settled down with a Smoked Butterscotch Latte and my new treasure trove of a book, Design Mom (such a practical and inspirational read! Seriously, go buy it!!) Took the Sigma 35mm Art for a spin - that crisp focus has me swooning - and documented our little tête-à-tête of fun, Mother-Daughter style.

For the new and uninitiated, this is how we roll...

just so

Thank you for the blue-sequined tiara, Mila!

solo water mission

She is so big, and such a little lady!

eyelashes

sugar coma: highly likely

"Anything left in there?"

"Good, because I'm gonna drink it."

Love, love, love this little girl of mine :D

Advent | 2015

This December we celebrated Advent for the first time!

Or should I call it Gladvent?

It was so fun to look forward to something every day, but also to delve into why we celebrate Christmas at all. As some of you know, Alice accepted Jesus as he Savior this year (post here), so it was especially meaningful to look at Christ as God's great gift to the world.

God first gave to us, so we give to others. God first loved us, so we love others.

What better way to love God back than by loving those around us?

In November, I began brainstorming a list of love we could give to the people in our lives. Some acts were small - greeting a stranger with "Merry Christmas!" - and some were more labor intensive - baking cookies for neighbors - but all were acts of kindness and service that would bring the focus on loving others and less on ourselves.

Every day, we came down the stairs to find three things on the table:

A "new" Christmas book, a chocolate (thank you for the "special" German chocolates, Adrienne! Might have been my favorite part :D), and a little slip of paper under a glass dome that told us how to love for the day.

Once we started being intentional about turning our affection on others, I was overwhelmed with how ready people were to give it right back! On December 11th, the day we said "Merry Christmas!" to everyone we saw, we were strolling the isles of Walmart and the joyful responses and doors opened with perfect strangers was amazing. This little girl, genuinely and gleefully shouting "Merry Christmas!" was such a bright light. Strangers completely stopped what they were doing and engaged us in conversations, people we never would have met otherwise. Isn't God good like that? Relationships - that's what He's all about. And after we made and delivered cookies to our neighbors, two came knocking on our door a few days later with treats in return. It was the spirit of Christmas at work, and it felt so full and good and right.

We'll never know how our actions affected someone, but we can love them regardless and trust God to use it for good :)

Here's a look at our advent...

acts of love

Taped all of the slips into her journal.

1. sing a song to God

2. write a thank you note to someone who has helped you or given you something you love

3. Skype Grandma Linda and sing her a song

4. give someone a compliment

5. memorize a verse for daddy

6. write on the sidewalk with chalk: "Smile" and "Have a Great Day"

7. invite someone new over to play

8. make a get well card for someone who needs it

9. make something special for your BSF teachers

10. smile at strangers

11. wish everyone you see a "Merry Christmas!"

12. obey daddy, even when it's hard

13. make a drawing for someone you love

14. tell someone about Jesus

15. bake cookies for our neighbors

16. make an ornament for Beka

17. give up our spot in line somewhere

18. gather pinecones and make some treats for our feathery friends!

19. choose one old toy to donate

20. choose one old book to donate

21. leave a present for the mail man

22. give someone a sticker

23. give hugs and kisses to aunts and uncles

24. sing "O Come, all ye faithful" to Jesus on Christmas Eve

More ideas we'll try next year:

-put money in the salvation army bucket

(couldn't find a whole lot of those this year)

-visit great grandparents

-send a love note to a friend

-pet some furry friends at the animal shelter

-bake a loaf of bread for someone in need

-make a special card for aunts and uncles

-surprise Gramma Jo at work and sing her a song

Christmas books

I've been collecting them for the last few years and had more than enough to cover all the days.

Thank you to everyone who has contributed to our collection!

The Mitten

A couple of years ago, Aunt Lynnie bought us one of our favorite Jan Brett books - The Mitten - and little wool felt creatures and snowy mitten to accompany the story. We had an awful lot of fun sticking them inside as we turned the pages :)

Chocolate Chip Cookie Parcels

special delivery

A cone of homemade candied pecans for the mail man.

"Merry

Christmas

to

our most

marvelous

Mail Carrier!"

In her last issue, Martha (there is only one "Martha" in my world) gave me the idea to make pine cone treats for our feathery friends, but after a bitterly cold walk that yielded none, we had to make a call to Papa Bear to see if he could hunt for some on our behalf. He came through with a whole bag full of the prickly tree decorations, as well as corn for our furry squirrel friends!

Once we tied string around the tops, we slathered them with peanut butter and rolled them in birdseed. Alice has so much fun coating them with tiny seeds!

Here are our treat-making adventures...

(Thank you for my pretty new gold scalloped plate, Lyn!)

love her laughs :)

Merry Christmas, birdies!

What did you do for Advent this year?

Any good loving ideas?

Do you have any fun Christmas traditions?

Would love to know!

Thank you, God, for loving us your best and giving first.

Give us your eyes, your heart, and your hands to love the people you put in our lives :)

She Chose Him

Today I got to experience what is quite possibly the best feeling in the world: Alice chose Jesus.

But let me share a little back story. For the last year or so, Alice and I have a running, open dialogue about God, good and bad, where babies come from, bugs, the universe...everything - I know, heavy stuff for a toddler. But you guys, she gets it. Yes, these are big questions, but I give her information she will understand as a kid and have endeavored to fully answer every question she throws my way, whether it be factual, theological, or existential. I am a firm believer in never dismissing a child's curiosity, especially a voracious desire to understand the world like Alice's. I want to be the one who gets to teach her not just facts and figures, but the "why" behind things. The value. We've been talking about who God is for a long time now and she understands that we are rebels in a broken world. She knows who Jesus is, what He did for us, why it matters to her, why other people need Him, and what He is doing right now. She knows all about heaven and the hope we have to look forward to. But even though I have given her all of this information, it still takes that precious moment where head knowledge transforms into heart knowledge.

In the car on our way to Omaha from Bible Study Fellowship today, we had this conversation:

Alice: "Jesus is in the clouds."
Me: "Hmmm. Well, actually, Jesus is in heaven building us a new home and getting everything ready."
Alice: "Jesus is coming in the clouds."

It is eerie to hear such prophetic yet simple truth being spoken by a child. That was my light bulb moment. Alice was talking about what we've been learning in Revelation at BSF. The teachers there give an amazing and age-appropriate version of scripture that parallels what we adults discuss and learn every week...and lately we have focused on the fact the Jesus is God - and He is coming back.

Me: "Yes! Jesus is coming back and He will come through the clouds! You're right!"

A moment of quiet while Alice smiles. I can see it in the rear view mirror.

Me: "Jesus can come any moment. We are so excited for him to come back for us! When He comes back, anyone who has chosen Him gets to be with him forever. They get to be with Him in heaven. That's why it is important to choose him. And it's a choice - He'll never force Himself on you. He wants it to be real love. If we ask Jesus to be our Savior, He will save us from a forever without Him and will live in us. Did you know God is everywhere, and He actually lives inside of you if you ask Him to?"

Quiet.

A few seconds later, softly, as if she was talking to someone next to her:

"Jesus, would you be my Savior? Jesus, would you live inside my heart?"

My own heart just about burst with joy. My girl, my Alice, my little charge was choosing Jesus.

Trying not to cry (still driving!) I beamed and told her how happy it made me that she would be with me and her daddy and Jesus forever.

Alice: "But what about Milo?"
Me: "Milo will need to choose someday, too, like you. That's why it is important for us to tell him all about Jesus. And that's also why it's important to tell everyone else about Jesus, too. Not everyone knows they are broken and separated from God. Not everyone knows they need saving. Not everyone knows that Jesus loves them so much He died for them. That it doesn't matter how bad they've been. He still wants them and loves them."
Alice: "Oh."

Another quiet pause.

Alice: "What's for lunch?"

Hahaha. Oh, Alice.

I started doubting at that moment that her choice was real. Lunch? After all that?? I mean, how valid is the choice of a three year old in the light of eternity??? Incredibly, actually.

A couple of hours later - with full bellies - we visited my cousin Andrea and her new baby, and while we walked to the park, Alice looked at Andrea and said, "Do you know Jesus?"

Oh, Alice! You do know!! Was it not Jesus who asked us to come to him like "the least of these" - the little children? Their faith is so much more powerful than we realize as adults. They are not yet clouded with cynicism, hurt, disappointment, and defeat. For her, Jesus is God and He made a way for her to be with Him forever and she took it. She chose Him.

God, thank you so much for making the bridge back to us, even when we burned it down and are still trying to destroy it. Thank you for being so powerful that nothing could stop your love for us. Thank you that you wove us together so that Alice would come to know you. I know her life won't be easy, but it will be infinitely more beautiful because you are at the loom. Thank you that I can know that she is sealed and can never be torn from your grasp. Thank you for the assurance that after this life, I will be with her forever on the other side of eternity with You. What joy you give a mother's soul! Help us to bring that same joy to other people as we share your great love with those we meet. And help me to be more like You so that Alice sees You more clearly and loves You more dearly. 

Thank you, thank you, from the very depth of my soul.

Alice & the Umbrella Part II | A Lesson on Earning

Last Christmas, one of our four gifts to Alice (something you want, something you need, something to wear, something to read) was an umbrella. Alice loved her umbrella (see post here). In fact, it was probably one of the best gifts we've ever given her. It was a boat! A grocery bag! An island! A tent! And it protected us from an awful lot of spontaneous imaginary rainstorms in the house. 

But...Alice started playing pretty rough with it, and eventually it broke. The first few times I tried to fasten the spokes back to the fabric, but she finally damaged it so completely that no matter my fix-it nature, it could not be whole again.

An excerpt from this post retells the story...

"You broke your umbrella the other day. It was your favorite toy and lately you have been playing with your things hard. And carelessly. It broke beyond repair and we had to throw it away. You said, "It's okay, Mama, you can just buy me a new one." It made me sad, because we've been trying to raise you to not think of everything as disposable, or that you're entitled to new things, especially when you haven't taken care of your belongings. I told you that no, you would not be getting a new one. You did not deserve a new one, because you didn't take care of your old one. That got your attention. We're practicing being gentler to our things now, and the new deal is that if you can show me you are responsible with the things you have, then someday you might get a new umbrella. You like this new plan."

 A great many tears were shed when we threw the umbrella in the trash, but she learned her lesson and began showing us she could be kinder to her things. While at JC Penny I found a Minnie umbrella on sale ($4.99!) and snatched it up to put in the closet for when we were ready to give it to Alice once she demonstrated more care with her belongings.

So, after a few months of waiting and proving, she got her new umbrella. And this one not only has Minnie, but a bow on top. Suffice it to say, we have one very contrite/grateful/excited little Alice...

Alice, parenting you can be tricky at times, but teaching you our values and seeing them lived out in you is reward enough. You are a sweet little soul who needs gentle (and sometimes intense) correction and guidance at times, but we're in your corner. We're your advocates, not your tyrants. We love you so much it hurts, and we're so proud of the little woman you're growing into.

So happy you earned your umbrella.

Love love love

Mama

Potty Training | Bribing Without Shame

When we first started thinking about potty training Alice, we sincerely (and mistakenly) thought it would be easy. We'd just put her on the pot round the clock and she'd bloom with her new found sense of independence and dry undergarments. No bribing, no pleading, no begging. Those parents were clearly not in control, and I wasn't going to give my kid candy for using a toilet. I mean, it's a basic human function. Are we going to start giving prizes for breathing next?

Fast forward 9 months: Alice knows how to potty on the potty. She's been at it since right before Milo was born. But...then Milo was born. The rumored regression was real. She was no longer interested in using the potty. In fact, she refused. The slightest suggestion garnered a firm "No!" We tried charts. We tried stickers. We tried naked time so she'd know when she wet herself (didn't care, by the way). We took her every 30 minutes. We sang songs. We told stories. We praised. We scolded. We sat with her for hours. We even installed a special app you could call that told you what a good job you did! Nothing.

Alice grew resistant. We grew frustrated. Her poops got bigger. I got madder.

And then I brought out some new ammunition.

Behold: Fawn & Smarties

Yep, I am bribing my child.

I am now among the parents I had formerly judged as "weak." And I don't really care. It's not about weakness, it's about desperation - and strategy. There is an end goal, which is not changing the diaper of a 3 year old anymore, and I'm going to do everything I can to get there, even if it means using toys and candy as motivation. Not weak; smart.

This week, we are done with cloth diapers. Alice is wearing pull-ups and the deal is that if she keeps them dry so we can move into training panties, she gets her new doll. For every time she tells me she needs to go potty, tinkles on said potty, and washes her hands, she earns 3 smarties (one for each item). Poops = 4. In the last 6 days Alice has kept things dry 90% of the time. She tells me when she needs to go and beams while she's going. For this little girl, it's all about rewards - visual, exciting, immediate rewards.

Am I a terrible parent for lowering my standards and bribing her? Nope. I'm the clever one who won't be changing anymore of her giant diapers, and I've set into motion enough habits that will enable Alice to be a more independent little person. I'd say that's pretty darn great.

Three cheers for

NO MORE DIAPERS!!!

:)

A Most Marvelous Monday Morning | Babes, Berries, & Bare Feet

Have I mentioned I love being a stay at home mama? I never dread Mondays. Mondays are...dare I say it?...marvelous.

This morning was a particularly lovely one. We woke when we were ready and wandered out to the garden to play a bit. I needed to tie up some tomatoes in the new towers we built (for $0!) and pick some raspberries. This morning's attire was a bare face, bare feet, black slip, and wide-brimmed sun hat. I love having a privacy fence :)

After picking our garden's bounty, we went inside and washed a grassy, juicy Milo in the sink. Then Alice requested some french toast to accompany her raspberries, so we made a berry reduction and readied our batter for the bread. Once it was on the table, we slathered everything with liberal amounts of Nutella and raspberries and tucked in to a decadent brunch.

I washed dishes and did a load of laundry. Milo napped. Alice enjoyed an episode of Kipper on Netflix. *Sigh* A luxurious Monday morning indeed...

new neighbor

accompanists

Look who stands wherever he wants!

tomato towers

My last few years of using tomato cages were problematic - the tomatoes would get so heavy and tall that they would just topple over. This year, I resolved to make something better. My uncle works at the lumber mill in town and brought me some scrap wood they were going to discard. JD salvaged screws from our old fence and cut the wood with our miter saw so we could build 5 towers for zero dollars! They're not perfectly straight in the ground, but they work and my tomatoes are tied and training upwards and off the ground.

baby eggplant

 

french toast, fresh raspberry reduction, and cold brew

mmmmmm

blue eyes getting a bath

Cheers to babes, berries, and bare feet :D